(Picture taken in Antalya, Türkiye)
Not Waving but Drowning
By Stevie Smith
Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he’s dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.
Caitlin Kimball summarized the poem “Not Waving but Drowning” on Poetry Foundation with the sentence: “Life is a series of opportunities to be misunderstood.”
My first encounter with the poem was back in January. I’m not sure if this is the case for you, but the poem left a strong impression on me with its wordplay involving pronouns. I felt that the poet was intentionally creating confusion for the readers. This impression was not unfounded, as the death precedes the recurring “moaning,” and the sudden appearance of “I” in the second-to-last line blurred the poem’s subject, especially when I traced back to the “I” in the third line again. Was I missing something in the middle?
However, upon revisiting the poem, I realized that I had misunderstood it—the poem, completely. The pronouns are, in fact, clear and straightforward if considered to be the results of a stream of consciousness.
But was the poem really about misunderstanding? I’m not sure. Personally, I feel like it was more about courage—the courage to reveal one’s true character. To let “they” know you're drowning. This theme resonates with me, particularly in the context of Loyle Carner, who produced an album named after the poem, which I also included in the post. Yet, we must keep in mind that although many Disney movies, propaganda, and primary school lessons have taught us that everyone needs to be true to themselves, to show one’s true character, it is not a path everybody needs to follow. Some may prefer to fit themselves into predetermined forms rather than reveal their true substance, and that’s okay.
I believe everyone has fallen in love, or simply has known someone, who didn’t wear their heart on their sleeve, and lied to themselves occasionally. And you, as part of that person’s beloved half, father, mother, child, or friend, genuinely cared about them and wanted them to make the change. But then you somehow get stuck in a dilemma. On one hand, you don’t want to make decisions for them, fearing you’ll become the villain. You’re scared that the relationship may be broken as the problem touches on pride and insecurity—things people scarcely want to address. On the other hand, you fear you did not shoulder the responsibilities enough, as the one closest to them.
Looking back at the title of the poem “Not Waving but Drowning,” it seems to answer the question and the dilemma I just brought forth. Until one signals for help, maybe there’s nothing we can do. The person in your mind, like the protagonist of the poem, may realize at a certain point the importance of not pretense to wave. And they will realize it without YOU. I know it would be painful to be a prophet of one’s future. And it would be painful to be a spectator of another’s life, especially of one you loved. But just accept it. It may sound cliché for me to say this, but letting go is the way of life.
The one and only thing you need to keep an eye out for is that when a signal of drowning comes by, be the first to spot it. Even if we misunderstand it, even if we thought it was a wave, even if we knock on the door at the wrong time, even if we sail out to sea, following the intermittent flashes from the lighthouse and not a single boat is there on the surface of the sea, we won’t lose them if they drown.
It might be a reminder for all of us to call for help if needed and express ourselves without waiting until it’s too late.
Dear gentle readers, this is all for the World of Forms today. But one more thing: please keep in mind, every time you have the courage to wave, there will be at least one, I promise, who will be wide awake, and will come down to you, talk to you, love you, and treat you like anybody else. If nobody comes to your mind as to who that person would be, I promise I would. Just leave a comment here, and I’ll be there with you.